He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize