She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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