hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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