I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize