I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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