Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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