i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
