So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
smell my finger.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize