he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
