Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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