Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
