using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
