I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I am available for nakedness
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
