i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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