it's not cheating when I paid for it
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
