I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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