I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
