Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
