I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
