I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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