I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
