All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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