decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
