Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
