So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just gift wrapped bread.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
