3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
