Screwed.edu
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
