six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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