Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
