I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm bleeding and have questions
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
