Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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