I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
