Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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