did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
