do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
