ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
