I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
