Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
