my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
