They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
