Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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