Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Farmville is her only friend.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize