do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
