It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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