I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
