The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
