I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
