Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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