are you still at the devil's house?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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