I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
