i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
My dick has a subreddit
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
