She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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