I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
