we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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