You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
