I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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