i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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