But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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