That's intense
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
