Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
it was like eating out sand paper
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
