I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize