okay pat passed out under dana's car
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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