Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I touched a dick in church today
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
