i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
