marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
