dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize