just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
